| FRANK
CORMIER is a French-Acadian English Major (now isn't THAT confusing!)
who is so desperate for tuition money that he once posed nude for the cover
of Cubist Magazine (unfortunately, they paid him in abstract money). Led
to a mysterious door in an inconspicuous alleyway by an anonymous note
promising low interest rates on a Discount Grad Assistantship, Frank now
finds himself stuck in a place that defies the very bounds of logic, sanity,
and all around good taste -- no, NOT Government! I'm talking
about a COMIC STRIP (though I see your point...)!!! |
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| ALLISON
SIMPSON was just following Frank around in the hopes that he'd treat
her to a beer or twelve once he got his hands on all of this promised free
money... Poor girl. Wait till she finds out what she's NOT going
to get for a while... |
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| DEREK
SIDEBOTTOM is a pizza-delivery guy who's much more than what
he really seems on the surface -- worn-out cap, crusty pizza delivery
jacket, distinct oregano smell, belly extended from too many free garlic
fingers... umm~~
Ok -- so he's just
a pizza-delivery guy. But whatever you do, don't tell him that, 'cause
it'll just get him all sad-like. |
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| MIKE
HENRY is an old roommate and close friend of Frank's. One heck of
a shrewd cookie, he's an excellent cook, able to make gourmet dishes out
of just about anything he can get his hands on. Mike secretly hopes
to be the next Robert Jordan, but will deny this penchant for fantasy writing
if asked, though~~ so don't ask. You've been warned.
So how shrewd can
a man who gets transported into a comic while doing his 'business' be?
Well~~ let's wait and see just what the naked guy can do, shall we? |
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| WALDONE
is somebody you may recall from your kidhood. You may not be sure from
where, but he certainly seems familiar, doesn't he? |
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| THE
TALKING SIGN was the result of an unwitting wish made by Derek not
long after the hapless pizza boy was sucked into the comic strip. Originally
intended to be a one-shot gag, the sign has quickly become one of the most
popular and requested characters in FRAMED! history.
But if you ask me,
he's just a sawed-off old hack who's an arrogant, scene-stealing ham.
Just like William
Shatner. |
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| RICHARD
NIXON is yet another result of a Derek wish gone terrifingly awry.
Regardless of the fact that he is technically one of the living dead, Nixon
just sees this odd happenstance as a perfect excuse to stage his grand
political comeback.
Master of disguises
and gifted with a silver tongue, who knows what this tricky Richard will
accomplish during his term as a secondary character in the FRAMED! universe...? |
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| HARVEY
THE TALKING POTATO was Allison's fault, not Derek's. A master of
horrible starch-related puns, this self-proclaimed spud will stop at nothing
to get all the girls that currently reside in the comic strip.
Poor, poor Allison. |
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ART
GARFUNKEL was supposed to be yet another one-joke wonder, but due
to the unending pressures of a certain web-based, secret Art fan society
(*cough* ZWOL *cough
cough*),
the aclaimed folksinger
has made a few recurring appearances, in the hopes of satiating the Art-hungry
masses and avoiding the possibility of a certain Acadian cartoonist being
strung up and flagellated with stringbeans and yams... |
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| Speaking of art...
let's change the subject completely, since JACKSON POLLOCK
has nothing to do with the topic. Apparently, this crazed artist
wannabe roams the darker, hidden recesses of the comic, flinging various
forms of oozing matter at all he sees with frenzied zeal.
No picture actually
exists of this wild man, and the FRAMED! photography staff are currently
going through an intense barrage of psychiatric reprogramming sessions
to try to erase the trauma of their attempt to track Pollock down. |
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| A certain wise man
once said, "without art, there can be no Paul."
Ok, it was really
the same guy who's head of the Art cult mentionned above, but that does
not affect the truth of the statement. Even when Art was used for his initial
one-shot deal, PAUL SIMON made the trip here as well,
and though never seen since, is likely lurking somewhere.
Unless he's been
squished already, that is. |
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